Scotland retro: 12 Halloween things you saw in the '80s, but never see now

Thus, let me provide you with some timely and creepy nostalgia of October 31 days of yore.

These are 12 things this old timer remembers about guising in Scotland 40-odd years ago.

1 Tumshie or neepie lanterns. Back in the Eighties, it was like pumpkins had never been invented. For a long time, I was very much against this glitzy US Jack-o'-lantern interloper. It was like the grey squirrel, coming over and bashing our weedier native reds. Now, there is acceptance. That’s because carving a hard turnip was SO difficult - I often just gave up, after two eyes, half a nose, a ruined knife and a bloody sore hand. And once you’d lit the tealight inside, the neep quickly started to fill the house with the stench of haunted sports socks.

2 Using toilet paper for decorations and dressing up. The mummy was once a classic costume, and required a whole roll of Andrex, which would be applied, not by the gorgeous golden Labrador puppy of your dreams, but a resentful sibling, while you helpfully twirled. Seal with Sellotape, and you’re good to go. If it rains, the game’s up.

3 The lack of references for costumes. In the Eighties, the Scottish dress code was still ‘scary’. Fair enough, we invented Halloween, and isn’t the whole point to ward off evil spirits? In the US, the options include something creepy, but you can also dress up as any pop culture character, like Kamala, Trump - a pumpkin in human form - or Moo Deng. It doesn’t have to be one of the trinity of Dracula, ghost or witch. My brain was boggled when I saw the trick or treating scene in ET, which came out in 1982. Anyway, in the Eighties, we did start to slightly mix it up, with the occasional homespun Darth Vader, Yoda or Hulk. There was also always one lucky kid who owned a Tina Turner wig, and they would have to work their costume around that. Maybe they’d end up as Jareth from Labyrinth, or a vampire with a mullet.

4 Dooking for apples. Nut burning and kale plucking had already died out, so the Eighties were probably the last glory years for this fruity tradition, which potentially has its origins in the jolly old Medieval pastime of dooking ‘witches’, or, as we call them these days, women. Anyway, the health and safety years probably concluded this activity. At the time, we weren’t too worried about the potential drowning - even if a brother or sister would always attempt to surreptitiously shove your head deeper - but were more concerned about sticking our faces in the grotty plastic washing up bowl. Also, once all the apples had gappy tooth marks on them, nobody wanted to dook anymore.

5 Scones on a string. Kids used to have to try and eat a swinging scone, covered in treacle, while it dangled, without using their hands. I remember thinking, while attempting this surreal task at my weekly Brownies session and getting sticky black sugar all over my brown uniform, why the heck are adults making me do this?

6 Being given money while guising. That’s right, kids, we’d get the occasional Sherbet Fountain, Fruit Salads, those white chocolate skulls with the oozy blood middles and, randomly, monkey nuts (booby prize) or a tangerine. However, most often the reward would be actual cash, not the lifetime supply of Haribo mini packs that children receive today. But, back then, we did have to earn it with a joke or a song. We always thought about getting the whole routine to Michael Jackson’s Thriller video down pat, but we’d usually settle for a terrible rhyme that we’d come up with an hour before. Just remember, ghost rhymes with toast.

7 Using tomato sauce as ‘blood’, along with talc to whiten your face a la living dead. Kids are more sophisticated these days. They have proper make-up sets. Still, we were nothing if not resourceful. There was much less of a shop-bought dressing up ethos, as everything was homespun, made from cardboard boxes, sheets, broken dreams, Blue Peter episodes and false hope. 

8 No parental intervention. We were just left to it. Off you go, children, to knock on strangers’ doors. What could possibly go wrong? Still, they also didn’t monitor how much money (and monkey nuts) we’d procured, so we could put the cash towards our dream Game Boy purchase. (And throw the nuts in the bin).

9 Painting our nails with Tipp-Ex, for a ghostly vibe. Or maybe that was just me?

10 Dressing the pets up. In the Eighties, that was considered cruel. Nowadays, we will squeeze Tiddles into that Wolverine costume, whether she likes it or not. I suppose the SSPCA have better things to worry about.

11 Being genuinely scared. It was the decade of the best ever horror films, including Hellraiser, The Lost Boys, The Shining, The Evil Dead, Friday the 13th, The Fly, An American Werewolf in London, The Hitcher, and a few not so good, but still cult ones like Nightmare on Elm Street. One two, Freddy’s coming for you. No wonder we were all a bit jumpy. 

12 Music was spooky too. Thriller was released in 1982 and the Ghostbusters theme in 1984. Somebody’s Watching Me by Rockwell came out in 1984, and there were a million spooky songs from The Cure and other Goth bands. What’s top of the charts for Halloween 2024? Taste by Sabrina Carpenter. And, no, she’s not a teenage witch.